Negative influences and experiences that leave a man feeling shitty about himself can have a major impact throughout his life from rejections, failures and playing a victim etc I will be discussing a few of these topics in a few short articles and some tips on how to deal with it. For some people negative thoughts are constantly trying to get into their house which is their head space and it constantly there giving them bad worries and anxiety for certain situations.
Dealing with negativity
Boys who grow to become successful men learn to deal well with negative experiences and influences early on. They deal with them quickly and move forward to achieve their goals. Self-doubt and a negative mindset of being average and lowering your big dreams to mediocrity can get some people down. You’re bound to be depressed, angry or unhappy sometimes the first thing to do is admit to yourself that your a negative person. Be happy with any little victory and be positive about your strengths. keep away from negative thoughts, negative people especially and look after your health throughout your life to be successful, positive and happy.
Why be so negative all time
There is a saying that you have probably heard about a thousands time which is You Become What You Think About. We are literally creating and entertaining negative thoughts all the time throughout the day. Think about it this way, if a friend knocks at your door invites himself in and then starts talking shit about you saying you’re fat, you suck and you’re never going to succeed etc you wouldn’t be friends with him would you.You would tell him he is being a dick and needs to get out of the house and cool off and apologize . If he is being a little prick and negative all the time you would soon get frustrated and angry about his negative mood and deal with it swiftly or even kick him straight out!!
Don’t let your brain rationalize negative thoughts about yourself. The lesson here is kick out those negative thoughts when you hear him knocking . He may come back to the door but after time will be more and more willing to be on your side and he may even apologize the next time he comes to the door.
A word from inner critic
Here are examples of negative self-talk:
‘Quitting your job and doing a startup business? Listen to yourself? you can’t do that, you don’t even know what you’re doing you don’t have time for that.’
‘You still don’t have a purpose in life! its pathetic: you don’t know what you want at your age. Grow up’
“if you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint that voice will be silenced” – Vincent Van Gogh
The inner critic that knocks at your door
Your inner critic is the voice in your head that tells your not good enough it criticizes your appearance, your worthiness and your potential . Its the voice that tells you that you can’t get really have what you want and no one really likes you. It is a scared, fearful even and a little bully that rationalizes that you can’t get the job you want, get in shape and get that girl you desire. He manipulates with demands and has threats of catastrophe such as “ if you don’t, then – you won’t be loved, you won’t make this business work and you will be broke” and so on.
As you get closer to your ‘real life’ it will become more vocal and more fatal with its words. Your inner critic may sound rational and speaks the truth but its a scared little boy. Here is 4 quick tips deal with him:
- Look out for negative doomsday style thinking e.g. if you do this people will think you’re stupid and you will live in a cardbox – instantly recognise it reframe it.
- Take note when you’re speaking to yourself speak to yourself as if a friend would. You would never say to a friend you suck balls, you are pathetic and doomed to fail would you?.
- Separate yourself from your inner critic recognised when its speaking to you. So why is it ok to speak to myself in this way and why do I say these negative things – Look deeper for answers
- Your goal is to calm it down and work around it. Remember it operates from a place of fear, so tell it that your fine and okay you’re not going to die – e.g. you’re doing a little exercise and just starting a mini-project nothing bad.
“Don’t let negative thoughts and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out”
Sources: Elliot Husle and Be a Free Range Human By Marianne Cantwell