“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn
This I am sure you have heard of before but it is so spot on and correct.
So how does one make friends and build a social circle.
First things first get out of your house!!!
There is no point moping about saying you don’t have any friends and being all alone get out there and talk to some people. Its important to build your social skills and having friends who are cool, who hustle and are leaders of men. Forming alliances and making war with a multitude of Counselors as Tai Lopez would say can help you and them to become better,improve and more valuable as individuals.
Alot of guys may get the wrong idea by the title of the article “I need new friends”.
People might think that means you need to get rid of your old friends and get guys who are good with girls, jacked and multi-millionaires!!! Eh no….
If you’re just starting out building a social circle then just try find guys in your area who have certain aspect of their personality and lifestyle that you want to be a part of even if you live in a small little town you can find people who are business owners, club promoters and gym fanatics.
Try find people who have entitlement and abundance in their lifestyle and field of work.
Success comes from reference groups so a big no no is hanging around with negative people don’t ever and I mean ever do that period. Make this your number 1 rule when screening for relationships with friends and potential girlfriends if there whiney and think their helpless victims of society just coping with life e.g. hating their job and constantly moaning about everything get rid of their contact details period or gradually decline spending time with them. Hanging around with positive cool badass high achieving motherfuckers will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Success and reference groups go hand in hand. The people who are hustling and being positive will help you loads and that exchange of positive energy instead of negative energy will be uplifting for you and help you build momentum in your own life.
A leader’s potential is determined by the people closest to him – John C. Maxwell
Many people create clicks and inner circles of friends and we naturally surround ourselves with people who similar to us. If you want better friends if you’re a sociable guy then screen better. John C. Maxwell says that you should be screening for your inner circle and ask what they provide in value. Here is a few questions you should be asking to yourself:
- Do they have high value with others
- Do they bring value to the table
- Do they add value to me and my friends
If you combine forces and strive to get better with your peers and are equally motivated with a little competition it will help you improve and become a better man.
Creating a social circle for common tasks and weaknesses in you and in the group can help both parties improve and accelerate their learning and achievements. If you study success with finance, business, health and relationships it comes down to the basic principles.
Which is keep trying and moving on from failure again and again whether in business, in the gym or bad social anxiety in meeting women.
Get friends who will hit you up to go to the gym, go out, help you get your shit together, get assistance for your business to hustle so you don’t stagnate like a bitch like dudes who play videogames all day and smoke weed everyday thats a fucking joke!!
“You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.” ― Timothy Ferriss
Its lonely at the top so you’d better take someone with you.
Find friends who can push you forward and friends who can help each other improve should not get jealous of each others achievements.Friends who are a little bit better than you should be helping out because situations can change quickly there are low and high phases in everyday life so forget about it and stop being menvious.
Find friends who can raise each other up to the top and look up to your friends and see them as an inspiration. For example, if a friend in your opinion was a loser but then they became successful and are now killing it applaud them.
This shows its attainable to anyone including yourself so it can really motivate you because you know that your friend wasn’t anything special and had a path to success.
Use the power of the internet and be creative.
You can use social media, forums etc for exposure join clicks for your hobbies and interests online and meet offline with like minded people using website like meetup.com which searches for groups in your local area with similar interests and hobbies. In social settings when you meet up be classy, be nice and be a genuine value-giver in interactions don’t be a value leecher sucking others for your own cause.
“The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not what he is able to receive.” – Albert Einstein
You don’t always meet up with the best guys to build a cool social circle. All you need are guys who are motivated and down to learn and have the basics down for your hobbies and interest. Pick out the cool things from your social circle friends that can help motivate,inspire and reach your goals collectively.
Lose the fear of lost friends.
Sometimes old friends who you have known forever can hold you back but you shouldn’t keep in contact with those who don’t bring anything to the table and anything of value in the relationship e.g. the friend who hangs around with you when his gf is not doing anything that day. The sad truth he is a guy will spit out garbage and emotional crap your way.
Another example is the friend who just plays video games when you go round to his house or the friend who is employed but smokes weed everyday instead of self-educating himself get rid of these negative influences in your life or the ones who lie all the time they are the worst ones.
When you’re on your on own path and trying to do things yourself your friends may not want you to change and have resistance and pull your confidence down.
You will realise this and you should not get angry about it e.g. you’re trying to lose your beer gut but your girlfriend says she loves it which by the way is just bullshit.You should have friends who support your goals and ambitions and get people in your social circle who are pushing their own resistance and have them for support in pushing through bullshit excuses not to change for the better and improve everyday.
“True friends stab you in the front” – Oscar wilde
On that side note when getting to know new people go into relationships thinking how I can help them and be genuinely interested in their story don’t be seeking attention and validation thats not cool at all.
Once you get rid of negative influences in your life there is nothing to hold you back.
Oh and one more thing please if you have a bad attitude on being sociable get that shit sorted first building a cool social circle will boost every part of your life because they can provide guidance and help in your day to day life instead of being sad alone and jacking off your sorrows away.
“If you grasp this principles and apply it you may have, for your efforts, whatever you want on this earth!”
These are the words of Napoleon Hill, who first coined the term “Mastermind” in his widely regarded Think & Grow Rich and Law of Success works.
In case you don’t know the story, Hill was commissioned by Andrew Carnegie to interview 500 successful men and women, looking for the secret to success. One of the key principles he found was that having a mastermind group can be so powerful can drastically change your life.
Never stop improving your social circle always be striving add value ,growing more friends and getting people who are 10-20 years ahead of you in your inner circle will help in your growth.
Tai Lopez talks about mentors in his 67 steps program where he calls it The Law of 33%.This is where you spend :
- 33% of your time with friends below your level.
- 33% with friends you think are on your level.
- 33% with friends who are above you in areas such as health ,wealth and in love.
Its an interesting concept which I think everyone should try apply to their lives because you can learn from friends, family and people who you think are below you. I know I just contradicted myself a little in this article but it doesn’t matter I know I chat shit and bollocks.
Having friends is worth more than a Ferrari as The Happiness Equation by Nattavudh (Nick) Powdthavee would say which was my book of the day.
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
Never Eat Alone By Keith Ferrazzi
Think and Grow Rich By Napoleon Hill
The War of Art By Steven Pressfield